Job application gone wrong... ^_^

Gormash's picture

Hey there. I work as an assistant in a kindergarden, and we recently sent out some ads about needing additional personel. Well, applications have been comming in pretty steadily, but one of them REALLY stood out from the crowd. It was so friggin' hilarious that I've decided to translate and share it (all names removed, naturally).
Mind you, this is a ranslation of a VERY poorly written letter, so all the errors you see comes from the original and is not made by me...

The bold letters are unknown words, thus I couldn't translate them...




Followletter

Position in kindergardenassistant

I think I am an candidate worthy attention kindergardenassistant duties. Your suggestion work complete my qualifications: I know the most igijiusi organisatorical abilities to get by work.
I have the experience is still very little child that just learned to master elementary movements like jogging, jumping, paciupimas, catching, and so on. Susistemintiems and training is still a little too young.

Recommend:
- Toddle and move in field or playground;
- Swings;
- Player in water (under supervision!)
- A special baby gym-classes, led by a professional

4-6 year olds

Recommend:
- Dance
- "Class" or pressure "
- Jumping rope or gumyte;
- Raid-hunt, with a light ball;
- Riding a bike or tricycle with helpmotor station. If children your begin suddenly nebepatikti sport or other fysical activities that he's doing, and he decides to leave, you must remember to note if reasons for this. Of course, to find out why, can you take a break. The same or an another sport will be capable to take child later. But if you no longer wish to play sport, capacitybuilding and other measures will be - during of an martial art or dance.

Whether your child is busy, or driving, or simply tossed into field "Pan". Most important - to encourage child to move men, longterm effect for your child grows strong, capable, healthy and happy. I am responsible, I work with good workingenvironment. Finished Bachelor of Business Management., work-PC, fluent in english.

I'm certain that my practical experience and topical knowledge earned will lead to professinals to complete your suggestions to worktasks. I am selfsufficient. Adapt to the most effective by direct order.
jiau 3 months that I learned the norwegian language, would kalbeti. One be a great possibility to learn the talk with people on your language.
I'm sure my knowledge, skills, practical experience and personal abilities like initiative, kummunicationskills, ability to quickly assimilate knowledge, responsibility, can come to good use to your children darzelyja for it's goals.

I hope you are interrested in my candidateship and have good look forward to your reply.

With regards

*************


I've tried to make it as close as possible to the original which is in norwegain.
My personal theory is that it's written entirely in the native tongue of the applicant and then processed through an online translator, thus the utterly trashy sentence structure.

Still, a fun read if you ask me. ^_^

Comments


Talendria's picture

"Most important - to encourage child to move men" Epic :P


DarthMuffin's picture

"Whether your child is busy, or driving, or simply tossed into field" O_o

"I am selfsufficient" --> good to know!


Nefi's picture

"Raid-hunt, with a light ball"

Good to know they are training them well. They will be strong hunters and skilled in the use of...light balls.


DarthMuffin's picture

He probably meant "ball lightning", as used by Thaddius in Naxx. So the plan is to train the kids to be GMs directly controlling Thaddius and use ball lightning to hunt down players in the raid.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.